Backward is the way forward

I don't remember who or what first pointed me in the direction of Extended Rear Facing (ERF) car seats. It's not the most exciting topic for today's blog post but it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately. (Such is the fast paced excitement of my life).

Car seats are a slightly controversial topic because it involves safety and noone likes to have their choices questionned. Every parent wants to pick the best and safest options for their child and I'm not here to judge anyone for those choices. One major issue in choosing to go with an ERF seat in the UK is that they are priced from £200-400! Conversely, you can pick up a fully compliant forward facing car seat for £60-£100. Annoyingly, if you buy an equivalent ERF seat in the US, they are similar prices to our forward facing seats. It seems fundamentally wrong that a type of seat which is proven to reduce road deaths should be priced at a point which is unattainable for a large number of parents. Sometime, someday, somehow, it would be great to see a change in the UK legislation on rear facing car seats which would help to reduce the prices but for now, I just want to help raise awareness.

So here's the facts: The law in the UK is that babies must use a rear facing car seat until they are 9 months old or weigh 9 kgs. In Scandanavia and, more recently, some US states, it is now standard for children to stay rear-facing until they are much older (as late as 4-5 yrs in some cases). The reason is simply that, in a frontal collision, a child is five times safer in a rear facing seat. Children are still growing and developing and the force of an impact affects them in a different way to an adult - a rear facing seat cushions those forces and they are proven to reduce child deaths.

If you can afford to consider the ERF seat option and want more information, take a look at www.rearfacing.co.uk which has all of the background and also a list of UK stockists (sadly few and far between). And whether you're going for forward or rear facing, we had a really great experience with www.incarsafetycentre.co.uk, based in Milton Keynes. They have a large range of all car seats and will spend a lot of time with you to work out the best option to fit your car.

Safe and happy driving x

Mama

When did the little newborn that I brought home those months ago get so big? When did he find time to outgrow five lots of clothing? And learn to roll? And sit up? And eat? Every day Little Monster makes me smile with some new trick, whether it's a new sound or a new way to play with a toy. It never fails to amaze me how much he manages to cram into a day.

This weekend has been a weekend of change in Little Monster's world. He has migrated to a new car seat. He's going in an Extended Rear Facing (ERF) seat which can theoretically carry him up to around 6 years old. Whether we all survive that long with him rear facing is another discussion...but we're happy this is the safest option for him long term. If you're in the market to upgrade your baby's seat and want to know about ERF seats, there's some great information at http://www.rearfacing.co.uk.

Little Monster also cried for solid food for the first time. I thought he had cried for solids a week or so ago but wasn't sure. Today was the first day that he's rejected a bottle in favour of food when he was hungry. This is really scary. I find it so hard to fit meals in...the eating of them, let alone the preparing...and to find a repetoire of things that he can eat. I guess I'm going to have to spend a lot more time figuring it out! Here's the little guy trying to get my phone when he should be eating:

Lastly, and most significantly in my little world, Little Monster said mama for the first time. I don't think he knows mama is me...but he's made such big changes in his speech recently, I can't wait for the first real word to pop out!

It's strange to feel melancholy at only 8 months in, wondering where your baby went. But I guess the thing is, he's not so much a baby anymore. And that's exciting and sad all at the same time.

Weaning Worries

One thing I've realised so far about being a parent is that it never seems to be the things that you thought would worry you...that worry you. I'm fairly laid back about baby milestones in general. I don't get all angsty that my baby hasn't fully learnt to sit yet or isn't crawling when younger babies than him are already finding their way. I figure he's working on other stuff and as long as he is heading in the right direction, it doesn't matter if it takes him a few weeks longer. The thing that has got me all on edge is weaning, and I really never thought it would.

I started offering Little Monster some basic foods when he was about 5.5 months. I decided a long time ago that we were going to follow a baby led weaning approach so I offer the normal food we eat, perhaps cut into pieces he can pick up, rather than giving him purees. I like the approach. It requires less preparation - which is great in our house as there's really nowhere in the kitchen that I can have Little Monster with me so once he is crawling, I need to spend the minimum amount of time away from him! It also means that the baby can feed themselves from the start so that you can all eat together, rather than spending ages spoon-feeding the baby and then having to entertain them while you eat your (now cold) dinner. I'm not going to preach the numerous and varied studies on this subject but suffice to say it is interesting and has great foundations.

The problem is that Little Monster is now 7 months old and he still eats very little food. He is good with bread-type foods that turn to mush in his mouth but anything that requires him to bite or chew (including, to increase my worry levels) most fruits and vegetables. Don't get me wrong, we have made some progress. In the first few weeks he didn't swallow anything and most times wouldn't pick food up from the mat and put it in his mouth. He is now doing both of these things which are significant skill developments.

But still I worry.

I worry that he's going to be a fussy eater and refuse anything but bread! I know that's a little irrational at this stage but it's so disheartening when I see his peers all happily munching away. I think the worst bit is that it's so hard to know when you should be worried. Now? At 9 months? 10? A year?

I know that, for right now, all I can do is persevere. I have to offer a variety of food every day, even if it all goes on the floor.

And, until he's eating other foods consistently, he's definitely not having cake.  Which is more for me.

Hay Days and Holidays!

Today was the last day of holiday and, in the way of these things when the holiday has been good, I'm a little melancholy and reflective. I wished so much to take Little Monster to the beach for the first time, to see his reaction as the waves washed over his feet and let him squish his toes in the sand. I had that, and so much more. We laughed when a big wave caught us and took photos so we'll never forget.

We went to Dartmouth on the ferry and watched a steam train chunter past. We wandered around Coleton Fishacre, tried a HippyChick Hip Seat for the first time. We watched pigs at the farm and giggled at the monkeys at the zoo. There were lunches and cups of tea in the garden. Ice cream and fresh picked raspberries. Evenings with wine and a good book.


And lying here now, curled up in bed on our last night, I realise how much my son and my husband have influenced this trip and are constantly making me want to be better than I am. Little Monster, at nearly 7 months, has adapted so easily to being here and has displayed more patience than I often do. My husband used up his holiday to care for me when I was ill and couldn't be here. He is kind and generous and has never shown a moment of resentment that he couldn't join us.

All in all I'm feeling really lucky. I had a great holiday and a great time watching Little Monster and all his 'firsts'. And tomorrow, I'm going home where hubs is waiting to give us end-of-holiday hugs.

Magic Holidays

Call me an old romantic but ever since Little Monster was born I've had this image in my head of him, me and hubs at the seaside. In my mind's eye, Little Monster is a toddler and he's squealing as the waves chase him and he chases seagulls. Hubs and I hold his hands as he dabbles his feet in the shallows and looks up at us with big, wide eyes. When he's bigger, we'll fly a kite with him and, eventually, teach him to fly our powerkite, maybe even go kite buggying.

                          (image by Karen O'D via Wylio)                                       (image by CeresB via Wylio)

Well, Little Monster isn't walking yet so chasing waves will have to wait but next week I'm taking him to see my parents for the first time at their home in South Devon. We're planning some coastal walks, some ice cream and, most definitely, a little sea paddling for Monster. We'll walk beside the coastal railway and Little Monster can see his first train. We've already determined that he loves tractors. What is it with boys and tractors?

My only sadness is that, since hubs had to use up his holiday to care for me and Little Monster while I was ill, he'll have to stay behind and work. So my job is to take lots of photos for him. Watch this space.

Putting things in perspective

It's taken me a long time to write this post, without really knowing why. I put it down and come back to it, trying to figure it out and put my thoughts in order.

I think the thing is that for the first time, possibly ever, I feel physically vulnerable. It doesn't seem to matter how much you know you're only human, how many lectures from teachers, parents, how many things you see and read about life and death. The fact is that, as kids and young adults, a lot of us just feel somewhat indestructible. 

Two weeks ago, I woke up in the night feeling ill. Several days and a lot of painkillers later, I was in surgery having my appendix removed. Appendectomies are so common now that they're considered routine and it's easy to forget that they can be life threatening and still have the potential to cause quite a lot of misery. Thankfully, so far, I'm making an excellent recovery but the last few weeks haven't been without their low moments. I keep fretting about complications, even though there's really no reason to think there will be any. I get frustrated about the twinges of pain, impatient to get back to my former level of fitness.

And all this, coupled with now having Little Monster in my life, has made me very conscious of my mortality. It's important to be around to see him grow up. I think what I really want to say is that being ill has provided some much needed perspective. If I'm tired because Little Monster has had me up 3 times in the night, or he's teething, or it's raining when we were supposed to go to the park, it doesn't really matter. I have a gift of 4 more months to spend getting to know my Little Monster. I can't promise it will be without moments of frustration or tears or anger but I do know how lucky I am. Hopefully we will make great use of that time. 

 

Flame for Hope

I wrote this at the beginning of the Olympics but didn't get round to publishing it on my blog for various reasons. I was so impressed with the way that the UK hosted and performed at the games. You did a great job all :)

8000 miles, through cities and dales,
To Lerwick and Belfast, 'cross England and Wales, 
8000 bearers, each story unique, 
Telling tales of our Nation, with action they speak. 
There's celebrities and children, sports stars to be made, 
Heroes of battles, the courageous and brave,
Cub leaders, charity workers and more.
We thank them with cheers and our spirits all soar.
We come to the Games. We come to compete.
To stand as a Nation, the world at our feet.
Our rowers, our cyclists, pool, track and field,
Our hopes for a Team GB gold medal yield.
It is not just our athletes, our country's on show,
We've a chance through adversity, to prove we still grow.
We'll finish each race with our arms open wide.
We'll hold our heads high; one Nation, one pride.
And we know that our actions, our dreams, motivations,
Could alter the future and inspire generations,
So raise up your flags for this is our time,
The Olympics are here, it's our Moment to Shine.