Fighting Postnatal Insomnia

It's hard to write about insomnia, as if writing about it means it's really there and you really have to deal with it. The old bury-your-head-in-the-sand approach is so much easier. And yet...isn't the reason I started this blog to try to document my year with Little Monster and keep me sane? So maybe the writing will help.

Disappointingly, postnatal insomnia is not particularly well documented on the web (per my 5 minute Google search), but I did find a good blog post about it here. There are some useful links at the bottom so obviously that search was a little more thorough than mine...

One of the problems with postnatal insomnia is the reaction you get from people (sadly, for me, that also includes some healthcare professionals). The conversation predictably goes something like this - ME: "I'm not sleeping well at night". THEM: *sympathetic but slightly amused smile* "Well, that's newborns for you. It does get easier!". The thing is, it isn't Little Monster keeping me awake. He's actually starting to sleep better. I, on the other hand, get up to feed him and then lie awake for the rest of the night.

I think it started because Little Monster has a tendency to wake every hour after 4 or 5am. I would creep back to bed and by the time I'd drifted off he was awake again. Then it progressed to not going back to sleep between those feeds. And then, inevitably, the cycle has migrated to the other feeds which has left me with only 2-4hours sleep for the last couple of nights. Which equals a very tearful and depressed me, not to mention that I'm not much fun for Little Monster.

So today I've been doing my usual thing of Googling the problem to find a solution. The general advice seems to be:

1. Adopt a consistent bedtime routine (same time every night, same activities before bed) 
2. Get some exercise in the day 
3. Try relaxation techniques like listening to relaxation tracks, breathing exercises and muscle exercises 
4. Limit caffeine and alcohol 
5. Work on reducing anxiety by thinking about happy thoughts/memories 

If, like me, the slightest noise on the baby monitor sets you on edge, see if you can get hubby to do at least one night feed. I found that one night when I knew hubby was getting up for the first feed, I didn't hear the monitor and likewise he is normally oblivious because I'm getting up. One option is that they take some weekend feeds so that you know there's a break waiting at the end of the week.

To be perfectly honest, I think anxiety is the route of the sleeplessness. Ever since Little Monster was born I seem unable to relax. I get really stressed out if he's crying (and babies...well they cry right?). I have been constantly worrying and feeling guilty about breast feeding (more about that on a later post I think). All in all, I'm a little bundle of wound up energy and nothing seems to help me relax, even though Little Monster seems to be pretty content most of the time.

I don't know what the fix is. At this point I'll try anything. I'll be updating here when there's any progress on my journey. If you're reading this because you're suffering postnatal/postpartum insomnia, I hope things improve for you soon. X