Thursday, 19 April 2012

Teaching myself to walk again

Have you noticed that when you take the time to walk, you notice so many more things than when you drive? A tree that has just covered itself in blossom like someone sprinkled breadcrumbs on it in the night, the new coat of paint your neighbours have just given their fence or, like today, a pair of sleeping ducks nestled beside a pond where normally  there are none. And what you don't see, you can't appreciate.

My life has been a series of milestones. It's the same for most people I guess. It has always been the next exams, the next school, the next promotion. Buy a house, get married, have children. It wasn't about the process but the end result and the quicker you get there the better.

This year is the first year of my life where I can remember having no set goal. Well, that's not true. My goals are to give Josh the best and happiest start in life that's possible for me to give, and for me to enjoy it. But noone is dictating how we get there. Each day that I get up I can judge how today we will accomplish those two ideals. And Josh isn't looking a year ahead to decide what he will be able to do. Each day he is reaching out and exploring the world and seeing what he can do. The moments I enjoy most are the ones where I'm watching him and he shows me a new trick that he's learnt.

Maybe I will only have the luxury of this time for one year but this one year is teaching me to walk, to slow down and enjoy the journey. If I let it all rush by I will miss all those amazing small moments. The funny thing is, I know it's a privilege and yet there are many days where I long to be the one going to work, doing the next project, going for coffee with my friends. I think on days like this I need to keep walking and to try to see the world through the eyes of my 2 month old son. I could learn a lot from him.

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