Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Things I Wish You Understood

My darling boy.

I wish you understood now how your hurts hurt me. How I feel every bump to your head and scrape to your knee. How I would gladly swap places with you when you're ill to save myself the pain of watching you suffer.

I wish you understood that making you smile and laugh lights up my world. That I would give you everything you wanted if it wasn't for knowing that it's my job to teach you the value of earning it for yourself.

I wish you understood that, far from wanting to control you, my heart swells with pride at each step you take towards your independence. But I also know that some things are more important than your feeling of independence right now. Things like cleaning your teeth and eating a balanced diet and keeping you safe.

I don't want to fight with you, my baby. I wish every day could be full of love and laughs and new experiences and I'll do everything I can to make it that way. But I owe it to you to give you the best start, to show you how to be the best that you can be. I owe it to you to be able to say no.

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